Don’t cry because its over
cry because you’re ugly
i want to write the kind of short stories you read in english class that are on this weird level of surrealism that they still haunt you years down the road
i ordered pizza and i was like ‘hey sorry you have to work on thanksgiving’ to the delivery girl and she was like ‘i feel worse for the person ordering pizza on thanksgiving’ ouch
I wish I was like a parking meter but like people paid me to talk to them and when their time ran out i slept
cats are so fucking pointless i want 10,000
the sexual tension when u and ur crush are online on fb at the same time and u just stare at their lil green dot
and suddenly you know what gatsby felt like
This is actually the most profound and appropriate literary allusion I’ve encountered so far this week.
my mom bought me a camouflage sweater today and i was like mom why did u do that and she said “so u can go hunting for men”
Big Ben by me - don’t remove caption.
i cant even draw a stick person like how
sometimes i get mad at australian stereotypes but then i remember that my backyard looks like this
IM FREAKING OUT THIS IS MY BACKYARD HOW DID YOU GET THIS PICTURE??????
never mind i just found my brother’s blog by accident
girls think about sex just as much as boys do and that is a fact bye
there was a study and apparently girls actually think about it more
that’s probably true because we can think about it whenever we want without our genitals making a guest appearance
HAHAHA HOLY SHIT WE WERE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF SURGERIES IN CLASS AND ALL THE GUYS WERE HOOTING AT THE SLICED BREAST ONES AND THEN THE TEACHER SWITCHED TO A PENIS PIC WHERE IT WAS CUT OPEN AND SOME 300LB JOCK DOUCHEBAG FAINTED RIGHT OUT OF HIS CHAIR BOYS ARE WEAK BOYS ARE FUCKING WEAK